I want someone with whom I can laugh at anything, lay down on the bed all day, have no make-up on, messy hair, sweatpants and still be the prettiest girl he seen.  A man with whom I can have the weirdest and deepest conversations. The funniest and saddest ones too. A boyfriend with whom it wont be a problem to make mistakes, to make the wrong moves, to say the wrong things. A guy i can tell my biggest secrets, my biggest confessions, my biggest fears to. Someone that I can be the real me all the time. I want a man to take care of me the same way I will take care of him. A boy who will love me right, treat me right no matter the imperfect person I am. Whatever I have on my mind I want to be able to tell him without being shy. I want to feel comfortable at anytime, any moment. I want to be there for him as he would for me. I want someone I can share my life with, someone who will not leave me at the first fight. A man who will respect me and treat me like a queen.

(Source: supreme514)

I feel so lonely.. i cant even explain why. that’s the weirdest part of it. I miss being in love, having someone to call, someone to care about.. now im feeling like every boy im interested in just dont want anything from me. saddest part ( to be continued )

(Source: supreme514)

never been in love, never really cared about no one, never even gave a fuck about people around me. Because I once heard everybody leaves. I don’t wanna get hurt, I don’t wanna be weak because of emotions and be crying like a stupid bitch. Cold heart, that’s how I am, no one can even warm it cause it’s been too cold for too long now. No love for them niggas, cause love has been wasted too much, and lives has been broken enough. But sometimes I hope I can feel a little something, a little emotion.. But the problem is I’m too scared to open my heart to someone, too scared to share some things to someone. Yeah I’m too scared to let them know the real me. Because I’m independent, I hate it when people get too close, I’m too cold, and I love to do things alone, I’m a solo girl, I can’t lie. I’m scared to be played, scared to be just a moment, scared to be just another girl. I wanna be someone’s first choice, someone’s only one.

I heard real ones gon’ stay forever.. So I guess my mom, bros and sis gon be there whenever I need them.. Problem is i’m to shy so I can’t confess to them or whatever. All I need is their inconditionnal love and the feeling of being appreciated. I wanna make my mama proud, yeah cause she been struggling all her life, putting her kids before her every single day and every single night. I hope one day I can make her dreams come true and give her as much as she gave me. I wanna let her know she’s the best and that I love her through hard times. She’s sick now, I’m scared. My father? I don’t even have a father.. I can’t count on him.. he’s a cunt.. all he thinks about is his money.. never call me happy birthday or happy newyear.. never been there for his 2 daughters.. He let my mama all alone with 4 kids.. he didn’t even gave her help.. no money, no food.. nothing. 

so much things goin on right now. shes hurt and i cant even do nothing cuz she loves this boy so much.. all he do is hurting her even more everyday. i hope she realize one day dat he’s not makin her happy anymore.. she’s attached to him so bad.. i understand her tho.. cuz shes deeply in love. it’s her fiirst love, it’s hard to say goodbye when u love someone so much… I cant blame her, i think that all i can do for her is supporting her, be there whenerver she needs to talk, whenever she needs someone to sleep with.. someone who can make her laughh, i guess thats my role, she my bff since 12 years already :) damn sonnn, and I think it’s now the hardest part of or friendship, cuz she really needs mee i know it but im shy.. im shy somtimes to talk about stuff im not suposed to be shy about, cuz she’s my bff.. im suposed to tell her whatever i want without being scared. well i think i need to work on this. yupp.. anyways, i love her so much i dont want her to be hurt.. i know she mutiling herself and that breaks my heart.. i wanna talk about it with her but im too scared she knows ive look into her stuff..